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He slowly brings it downward, letting droplets make a little beaded path down my lower abdomen. He can see water droplets sparkling, the shiny beads a stark contrast to my tan skin. He takes the cube & gently touches it to my swollen lips, trying to let me adjust to the temperature as well as I can. Lou slips the cube between my cunt lips and inserted it into me, making me gasp loudly. He takes his tongue and plunge it into me, trying to lick the cube. He plays this game of cat and mouse until the cube has finally melted, soaking both me and his face. I take a deep breath and you know that I’m ready for new pursuits. Lou removes his silk boxers and let loose his swollen organ, which is aching for some attention. He climbs on top of the bed, slowly rubbing his chest up my body as he goes. He feels my nipples poke into his chest, and He presses harder, rubbing them even more. I run my fingers through your hair, and down your back, leaving tiny scratches along the way. We now are face. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always been a dead end, and if I ever wanted something like long-term happiness I'd have to be honest with them and myself. I'd have to learn how to be myself, which was a weird thought. I wonder if I could practice somehow. Maybe go out to bars and see what it felt like to 'be myself', I guess.Ugh.Not long after I found out about masturbation, and then the internet, I discovered stories describing BDSM.
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